Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
