dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
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