make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
