just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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