We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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