I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
don't judge my taste in strippers
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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