you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
How does it feel to date your dad?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
