I'm really into asian looking animals
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
