Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
