We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
i've created a new STD.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
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