but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
