is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
