He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
