you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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