Christians are straight up FREAKS
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
