i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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