My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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