if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
