remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
