By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
