i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
