hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
