It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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