she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
