Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
