put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
