I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
As shirtless as possible
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Randomize
