508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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