i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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