Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Randomize