Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
