Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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