I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
