Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
