During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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