the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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