its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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