It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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