it's too hot outside to masturbate.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
