This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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