reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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