My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
