hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
it was like eating out sand paper
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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