If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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