I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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