Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
