obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
