1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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