Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
