planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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